'My husband told me he's gay - one aspect has absolutely devastated me' (2025)

A woman has been left devastated after her husband admitted he was actually gay, saying he's "ruined everything". The anonymous mum-of-two opened up on Mumsnet as she revealed her entire world was turned upside down by two words she never expected to hear from the father of her two children.

The couple, in their early 40s, had been married for nearly eight years, raising two young children, aged six and three. She believed they had built a happy, secure life together. But her husband’s unexpected confession has left her reeling.

"I'm paralysed with shock," she began. "We've been married nearly eight years and have two kids. I thought we had a good life and I was happy. He's ruined absolutely everything."

And while the prospect of her marriage being over has devastated her, the emotional toll it's going to take on their children is what has left her reeling. "Our youngest won't even remember us being a happy family," she wrote.

"I think that's the worst thing going through my head now. I hate the thought of the kids coming from a broken home. My life has been completely destroyed, and I can't do anything. I feel so completely helpless and alone."

In her post, she admits she has never had a close circle of friends to rely on, but she felt secure knowing she had her husband. Now, in the wake of his confession, that sense of security has disappeared.

“I don't have any close friends, but I thought that was ok because we had each other,” she added. “I trusted him completely.”

While some online users were quick to praise her husband for finally being honest, many others have been left with questions. One person wrote: "Why has he decided to tell you now?"

The original poster responded: "He doesn't know. I'm absolutely raging he's just dropped this bomb on my life."

Relationship experts say that it’s not uncommon for people to come to terms with their sexuality later in life, especially if they’ve suppressed it for years. However, for spouses left in the wake of such revelations, it can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under them.

She continued: "We have been together for 11 years, eight years married. I feel like he's stolen the years I could have found someone to grow old with."

And in a shocking twist, she revealed her partner admitted to being sexually active with another male during their relationship.

Responding to the question left by someone urging her to get a GP appointment, she added: "He promises it was only once and very recently with no overlap. Someone he met online."

One person wrote: "Please just focus on right now, focus on self care, getting sleep, being kind to yourself. You have every right to feel every emotion, allow yourself time to process and grieve."

Another added: "It's going to take you some time to come to terms with this betrayal and re-evaluate your whole relationship, past and future."